Why Believing in Yourself is the First Step to Being a Great Debater

Many people may say that knowing your country’s stance like the back of your hand, or conducting countless hours of research are what makes a delegate the best. While they are right in some aspects, they are missing an element, one so important that if absent, all the others will not matter. Trust. Trust in yourself. As passionate about debating as I am now, there was a time, not long ago actually, when I was lacking this trust. When I was first introduced to Model UN, it seemed like I had found my match. A group of bright young minds, simulating United Nations committees and discussing the world’s most pressing issues, what was there not to like? Heading into my first conference I prepared until the last minute, and yet it was still nerve wracking to witness all the other practiced and talented delegates. Fear and doubt easily made their way to the surface and suddenly, all the research I had done, was not good enough, thus I only gathered enough courage to speak twice. I brushed the occurrence off, blaming my lack of experience. Then I went on to my second and third conferences and while I wanted to speak, to get involved, I just couldn’t. I remained seated, placard down, following the debate closely but not participating as much as I would have wanted. Looking back at it now, I realise there were many times where I could’ve spoken up, where my input was needed and where, if not for the crippling fear that I’d developed, I could’ve changed the course of the discussion. It’s hard not to be filled with regret, not to dwell on the “what if” and get stuck there. I really tried not to, and yet with every new conference my belief in myself only grew smaller. It left me confused, because everyone told me that, as I gained experience I would also gain more confidence. At one point, I started to consider not going to MUNs anymore. This activity that had me feeling fervent and enthusiastic was bringing me dread. It seemed like the logical choice and yet I was troubled. I loved feeling like a part of a community, I loved the sleepless nights, I loved preparing an opening speech and deciding which countries would be my allies, I loved to help on writing the resolution and then the thrill of waiting to hear if it passed or not, but most of all I cherished all the friendships that I made. I couldn’t give that up. I had worked tremendously for every conference, but all that effort was wasted and it was not fair to me. I had to understand that I was the only one standing in my way. The moment I became aware that my opinions mattered just as much as anyone else’s in the committee, that I too am an important addition to the discussion, and that regardless of what I get up and say I will not become less of a person in the other people’s eyes, that is when I regained my voice. It most definitely did not happen overnight though. It was a hard-won journey to go on. I had to get rid of some of the self-deprecating habits that I’d developed and of the excessive apologising I used to do. I started to speak up more, slowly but steadily, and stopped over-analysing everyone’s reactions to what I was saying. I also stopped altering my personality to match the environment I was in and just be myself, thus more comfortable. All of these little improvements had an enormous impact on my performance and on my life. My new found confidence changed my perspective on Model UN and it returned the joy these conferences used to bring me. In the beginning, I could not even imagine winning any awards let alone “Best Delegate”, but they did eventually come and it was incredibly rewarding. While I do not wish it on anyone, I acknowledge that my case is not isolated. Most people go through tough periods of time before fully believing in themselves, especially teenagers who only just start figuring life out. It is always easier to crawl within yourself where you feel safe and let fear take over. That, however is not living; it gets in your way more than you can realise in the moment, taking away your joy and your passion. Model UN can give anyone the opportunity to shine, to assert themselves and to have fun, so having faith in your knowledge and powers is essential to be able to enjoy the experience properly. No matter how much research you do, how many speeches you write and how much you rehearse beforehand, unless you believe you can do it, you will never allow yourself to showcase all that rigorous work you did. It took me a while to figure it out and I am still working on it, but I got to the point where I always feel happy and proud of myself after a conference and maybe even happier with myself in general.